Team Profile: Universal Mind Control

UNIVERSAL MIND CONTROL || BROKE AND ACTING FAMOUS || WE MOVE ROBOTIC || RETURNING SEMI-CHAMPIONS || RAINING IN HELL ||


Sarah Bellum, UMC Team Captain: Firewalker. Spoonbender. That light which breaks yonder window. The wolf who stalks between. The unveiled eye. Burning like a library on fire.


Meghan "Megghatron" Trainor, UMC Captain Emerita: A pop-druid, not a pop-droid. Professional Digital Hedgewitch, Amateur Gardener, Metal Enthusiast. Most likely to solve problems with a bonfire.


James the New Man: James Newman, seen here concentrating. An evolutionary endpoint of the human race. Able to remain stationary or move at low terrestrial speeds without much difficulty. If locked in a box with a scintillation detector and a bottle of poison gas he enters a twilight existential state of questionable utility outside of poorly written pop-science philosophy texts making dubious ontological and moral distinctions.